There aren’t enough hours in the day. Or are there too many? “You have the same number of hours in the day as Beyonce.” Yeah… except the two hours spent cooking, the 2 spent washing clothes, 1 spent bathing my kids… you get it. Your average person (let alone mother) does not have the same time table as Queen B. I had recently found that I had been filling a whole ‘lotta my time with things that I hated. I mean, I am responsible for the livelihood of three other people so sometimes it comes with the territory. But other times… I was just ignoring simple things that would help make me, myself and I happy.
I don’t know why I was doing some of these “normal” things that all moms do but also hate. I mean, momming is hard enough without filling my days with additional mundane and unnecessary tasks. So one day… I stopped doing them. Just to make myself happy. And it’s been glorious.
1. Cleaning My House for Every Single Person That Plans To Stop By For Two Minutes.
Seriously, why did I do this to myself for so long? Is anybody really fooled into believing that a mom of three always has a clean house? I mean, I’m sure said moms exist… but I’m definitely not one of them. I actually think the whole super cleaning the house for company thing is really stupid. “We can’t let people know that we live how we actually live!” Did you come to see me? Or did you come to look at my stuff? I don’t have stuff for you to look at, do you have a small child? Bring them. I have LOTS of stuff for them to look at.
For some moms, cleaning brings them joy. They feel better when everything is in its place and they feel like they’ve owned the day. But for most of the moms that I know, cleaning is a daunting task that leaves us feeling inadequate at the end of the day. Like all of the other roles we filled that day fall by the wayside thanks to our messy kitchens. And it just isn’t so.
I officially refuse to be ashamed of our average mess any longer. I’ve been in many-a-mom’s home… all the messes are pretty standard; lots of toys, laundry, and cracker crumbs. You’re not alone. You’re not a worse housewife than any of the rest of us. We all just do this thing where we go on a cleaning rampage before our kidless friends or acquaintances come over. I will partake in said tradition no longer!
2. Folding My Kids’ Pajamas.
WHY. Why do we do this? My kids literally morph into creatures with shovels for hands when they go through their drawers. Any amount of folding is a complete waste of my time.
I would abandon folding all together but it drives me crazy when their shirts are all wrinkled up. But I haven’t completely written off the idea either. Stay tuned.
3. Not Wearing Makeup On Days That “It’s A Waste” Because I Didn’t Go Anywhere
I used to be of the mentality that wearing my good makeup for no reason was “wasting it.” It’s a thought process I’m still fighting. But now I wear what I want to wear, when I want to wear it, whether I’m going out or not. I mean, I wear it for me even when I go out, so why shouldn’t I wear it for myself at home?
I pretty much live in CC Cream these days, and my favorite is the It Cosmetics CC Cream and it’s like $40 a tube or something. I was trying not to use it on days when I didn’t do anything “fancy.” But forget that, I’m fancy for myself everyday.
4. Apologizing When I Don’t Mean It
Moms apologize ALOT. Sometimes I think it just falls out of our mouthes for no good reason. “Sorry the house is a mess,” see number 1. I’m not sorry… we live here. “I’m sorry that my child is crying,” I also hope that I can remedy the situation quickly… but it’s not very likely that I owe you an apology. “I’m sorry I can’t come.” Again… not sorry. I’d come if I really wanted to… but going places with three kids is hard sometimes.
Why do we do this? Somehow we’ve reduced ourselves to some kind of inconvenience to the world while we do the hardest job the world has to offer. Apologizing when you’ve done something wrong and you mean it is just good manners. Doing it because your three year old has a meltdown over their sock feeling funny…not manners. You’re doing your best and you (and your child) are allowed to exist in public too.
5. Feeling Guilty About Going to the Gym
I don’t do a lot of things for myself (like most moms.) And for many years one of my excuses for missing out on the gym was that it was just more time (on top of work and school) that I’d spend away from my kids. It made me feel guilty. But I’ve decided that my being healthy and energized is also of value to them, even if it means my spending an extra hour or so away from them. I’ve been going strong for since April! (yas bitch.)
Also… it feels pretty good when one random morning your husband says to you “honey, your butt workouts are working.” I laughed… but also wore tight pants that day. 😉
Just changing my thought processes around things that stressed me daily has made me such a happier person. It literally affects no one but me if I do these things or not. Lucky for me, my husband is the easier-going of the two of us, so he just rolls with the punches (whatever crazy punches I’m throwing that week.)
So if you’d like to come visit, you’re welcome anytime! But my house probably won’t be spotless, my kids pajamas will be wrinkled but my skin will look bomb thanks to my CC Cream… and I won’t be apologizing for it either.
