I recently made some new friends in Denver! Thank sweet baby Jesus, because I’m pretty sure I was gonna go crazy there for a hot sec. Seriously, why is making mom friends so hard? It’s like dating but WAY WORSE. Awkward to the max.
While on this glorious excursion into the outside world sans kiddos, I ate grown up food (no chicken nuggets,) drank grown up drinks (BEER!!,) and wore clothes with no vomit on them (gasp!) I smelt nice for a whole 4 hours or so! YAS! But I also had the opportunity to conversate with non-kid-having adult types as well. (Yes, they exist… Crazy, I know!)
During these conversations we would venture into the topic of parenthood and whether or not they were “ready” for said journey. This has always perplexed me. What is this state of “readiness” in which someone could be prepared for the responsibility of creating, raising, and fostering a responsible human being out of something you grew in your belly?
Answer: it doesn’t exist.
You simply cannot schedule a life event about that which you cannot even fathom. Better said; until you have had said children – you don’t even know what you’re asking for. And I promise I don’t mean that in a negative way. I just mean that there can be no ideal time to schedule such a life changing unknown.
Seriously, what could ever be the ideal time to have a baby? As with any vastly life altering decision – there will be both sacrifices and rewards. It is a list of pros and cons that can leave one wondering if they’re cut out for this #momlife thing or not.
As someone who has changed their shirt 4 times today, I’ll start by asking you this; how do you feel about vomit? haha. Just kidding. But not really.
Motherhood gets you all kinds of comfortable with gross stuff. Mostly bodily fluids. Pretty sure there is absolutely nothing that could gross me out anymore after 3 kids.
Seriously though. Facts are facts, having kids changes everything. One thing that many consider a “readiness” factor when contemplating children is financial security.
If you don’t have a good job, you’re probably too broke for a baby. But then again, if you do have a good a job you’ll likely have to roll back your level of dedication to said job once baby arrives…and what do ya know?! You’re broke anyway. 😉
Another thing many consider is age. I often feel that women start feeling pressured to have children come a certain age, because well…biology. And of course having children as a teenager isn’t optimally ideal, but some of the best moms I know (ahem 😉 ) started this journey quite early. There is no magic number when it comes to age that automatically qualifies you for parenthood.
Some consider it a disadvantage that I didn’t have my 20s to “discover myself.” Others consider my children my only worldly accomplishment. But guess what? I’ll have my 40s and beyond to do whatever I choose. My point is; childhood has an expiration date. You have a limited amount of time to soak up the limitless affection of your small children – and no number of years of this earth can prepare you for it.
Your level of willingness alone can determine your eligibility to experience the absolute madness that is motherhood.
Parenthood hits you like a fucking Mac truck. No lifestyle, bank account balance, education, or life experience can fully prepare you for it. It is an emotional rollercoaster unmatched by anything else in this world. You are virtually exposed to it in the blink of an eye. One minute they aren’t here (there’s some traumatic pushing) and then they are. They just are. Ready or not. But pretty much not…because you can never really be ready.