^Yeah, I was singing that to the tune of that Salt-N-Pepa song. So??
On Saturday I have to take a test that might ultimately define how the rest of my life proceeds. No biggie. The LSAT is SCARY. I kept telling myself that I wouldn’t let it freak me out…don’t freak out…
Why does everything in the realm of education have to place such heavy emphasis on tests?! GOSH. Like the entirety of my intelligence or learning capacity could be displayed on one test?! Sigh. I’m not normally one of those people that would consider themselves an inevitable “bad test-taker,” I can usually test quite well. I am superb at cramming, and then forgetting everything a day later. You know, typical college stuff. But the LSAT is different, and it hurts my brain. Like, I literally feel tired after each section and my accuracy is much better at the beginning of each section than it is at the end. Apparently my mental endurance needs work. haha!
It’s also freaking me out that it’s actually time for me to take the LSAT. Like, it has taken me 7 years to get my bachelor’s and it was so easy to brush it off as “somedayyyy I’ll have to take the LSAT.” But now that day is here and I find myself having some kind of quarter life crisis/existential dilemma. Do I really want to go through three more years of full time school/torture? Do I really want to acquire all of the debt required to do so? Am I willing to gamble with somewhere around $100 grand that I will be able to get a good paying job when I’m out? Maybe. Maybe not.
Or is it one of those “jump” moments? Where reality and that little voice of doubt in the back of your head give you pause, but you’re meant to tell them to “shut it” and chase your dreams without ever looking back? Part of me feels like I owe it to myself, to finish this thing I’ve been fighting for, all the way to end. To prove to myself that I could do it, that I could have my cake and eat it too. That I could be a devout mother without giving up on all of the things I set out to achieve for myself.
And I could… I could do it. But only if I really wanted to. And how does one really know anything? Maybe I should just get a master’s degree?
…See. Existential. Dilemma.
BUT you see, stress is my specialty. And to handle aforementioned life crises I did what anyone in my situation would do… study!
Just kidding… I went on vacation.
Just for a long weekend. But the hubs, the babes, and I went up to Atlanta! I brought my LSAT study materials and did approximately zero studying. yay! It was nice though, to not feel completely panicked for 3 days.
And as fate would have it…I got totally sick on last day of the trip! Which is better than the first day, I guess. But as a result I missed work all week, and I completely lost my voice so it’s not like I could distract myself by bothering my husband… allowing for PLENTY of LSAT study time days before the test. No sweat.
Did I say “plenty?” HA. I have 2 kids.
PS I should really be studying.