Thanks for all of the support on that last post. It was some pretty personal stuff, and near and dear to my heart. I almost didn’t publish it, but you all made me glad that I did. 🙂 I’ve taken some life lessons from our car accident already, but most importantly for me, was the lesson of appreciation. You just never know when you might lose the ones you love, and we take that risk every time we get into the car and head to work, or school, or around the corner for pete’s sake! I’m just saying… I am so so so happy for each day that my feet hit my bedroom floor in the morning, and all of the other small things in my life.
Because in the end, its the pile up of ordinary days that matter most. Sure, every year we get one birthday each, one Christmas morning, one Thanksgiving… but I believe that when I am old and gray (God willing I make it there,) and looking back at my life, it will be the seemingly unimportant things that will have mattered the most. Jace singing “Let it Go” at the top of his lungs and dancing around the living room in his Spiderman undies, Zoey referring to every shape in her puzzle as a “circle” because that’s the only word she can say, Josh realizing that he loves cooking, and taking the kids outside to swing.
Even now, as I look back at my essentially short time as a mother, I know that certain things have already passed me by. I know that one day Jace won’t reach for my hand when its time to cross the road, that Zoey will know all her shapes and numbers, and that Josh’s flaming red beard will gray.
So I have promised myself to drink it all up, to enjoy the flavor of each moment as it slips by. Because surely my sorrows will make the good days better, my life lessons will make me wiser, and my children’s hands will only grow more distant with each passing day. I have never cried or prayed harder for a stranger’s family than I have in the wake of our accident, but I am doing my best to take away something positive from this experience.
aaaaand I’m getting all dark and twisty again, sorry.
Needless to say, I am terrified to put my children in a car these days. But I sucked it up and we took them to the park a couple miles away from the house. We have a swing set at home, but obviously the real park is WAY cooler. Some other kids showed up while we were there too. Jace was thrilled. He refers to everyone he meets as “Kid” or “Guys…” its pretty funny, and I’m not quite sure why he does it. But just imagine my on-the-small-side 3 year old yelling “HEY KIDS!” across the play ground at a bunch of 5-7 years olds. Haha. This behavior only further confirms my suspicion that Jace truly thinks he is a tiny 25 year old. Lord help me.
But I promise myself and my family more ordinary days. Less planning for the big stuff, more enjoying the small stuff. More tickle fights, more park visits, more bedtime stories. I’ve always known how precious my children were to me, but now I know more than ever how lucky I really am.