Ahhh Mother’s Day. The day dedicated to all the hard working mamas of the world! And we deserve it! Say what you want – but being a mom is HARD. Somedays I don’t know which side is up, and I find myself debating whether I want to hide in my bedroom closet (nah, they’d totally find me in there) or the piles of laundry they leave behind (ah yes, that’s more like it.) Sometimes when I finally hit my pillow at the end of the night I don’t know if I ever want to get up again… but come morning there is no sunrise as beautiful as my little boy’s face.
For me the hardest part of motherhood as been the “setbacks” in my own life. I use quotations around that word because I realize that that is not exactly the right word for what I mean. I am a younger mother than average, as I have spent the entirety of my 20’s as Mommy. Here I am 2 months into 24 and I still haven’t finished college. I’m still chugging along though, slow and steady. I will finish eventually – but I run on a clock that never stops and spring and summer break show no mercy. 😉 I have a deep deep love for traveling, but I haven’t done much of that yet either because my heart just can’t stand to be away from my children! All things that I know I will have in time, but for now, my time isn’t mine.
It’s such a confusing feeling though… because I know that motherhood has taught me (and continues to teach me) more about life than a doctoral degree ever could. And I know there is more beauty in the sunshine and laughter of our kiddie pool than in all the streets of Paris (I can attest to this first hand. 😉 )Being a mom has forced me further out of my comfort zone than anything else ever could. I’ve learned to do things that don’t come naturally to me. I even get up early. Ughhh, with lots of help from my good friend caffeine. And while some days I feel the weight of all the opportunities missed, I am comforted by the sure feeling that the most important opportunity of my life stands right before me in diapers or a Lightening McQueen shirt.
I guess you could say I’ve gone about my life a little backwards. We do things a little out of order around here. But I know that I am so so lucky. I have beautiful, healthy, safe children. And in a world as crazy scary as this one, I know that is more than millions of other mother’s can say. And this Mother’s Day my babies are too small to thank me, but I don’t mind at all. On the hard days I try to see myself through their eyes – because I know that they don’t see messy bun, sports bra, and their dad’s boxers rolled up as shorts – they see me. So I wish all the other mommies out there the strength to see themselves as their kids do, and the patience to get through the hard days. I hope that all of your hearts are exploding with contentedness on this day and realistically, most days. 😉